Being a mom is a hard job, whether you’re a stay-at-home parent or a busy professional trying to balance a career life, kids and everything else. It’s doubly hard when you’re a mom with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD). Personally I’ve struggled with this my entire life, as I have ADD, I never know which to call it these days so I will be calling it ADHD. However my presentation isn’t necessarily hyperactive, I tend to be the daydreamer or “Space Cadet”!
If you have a child with ADHD, there’s a 60 percent chance that either you or your mate also qualifies for diagnosis. And it’s not always Dad. Doctors have found that in families that have two children with ADHD, there was an equal chance that either the mother or the father has ADHD. If you were diagnosed as a child, chances are you still have it as an adult!
Being a mom with ADHD doesn’t have to be a negative thing, I see it as my superpower! My ability to focus when a job needs to be done (and it’s something I’m passionate about) I can get it done with laser precision and fast! Pressure is my key to success, so I utilize an egg timer to help me get tasks done, while staying on deadline!
Having ADHD doesn’t make you a bad mother! On the contrary, having ADHD gives you the ability to empathize with your children, come up with creative solutions for problems, and create a loving, nurturing and exciting home for you and your family. Learn to appreciate the gifts and minimize the weaknesses of ADHD In your life.
In the long run, your kids won’t remember that your floors weren’t always perfectly waxed. But they will remember that you loved them.
Here are more tips for moms and caregivers with ADHD:
Explain ADHD symptoms to your family, friends and coworkers.
Get professional help; to help with long term goals. Behaviors can be changed.
Solve problems together — no finger pointing: “This is the problem — how should we solve it?”
Learn communication strategies.
Keep a calendar, and use different colored inks for schedules: Lists are HUGE!
Lists. Again.
Take time to cool down. Emotional dysregulation is a very real side effect of ADHD and can be very distressing if you don’t understand that this is a part of your disorder.
Use a sitter/moms helper when you’re working on something at home.
Have weekly family meetings to strategize for the coming week.
Get professional help with managing kids who have ADHD, too.
Work as a team. Everyone gets a task!
Get outside help for chores that create tension in the family if you can.
Use and egg timer to help you get tasks done on time and only focus on that task while the timer is on! This helps when cleaning and with chores! Also I utilize this when I’m working.
Establish quiet time for family
Establish routines. Write them down, but be flexible.
Keep explanations short.
Be consistent — even if it’s difficult.
Get partner to take over when you feel you’re losing it.
Problem solve ahead of time. If your child can’t handle crowds, shop off-hours or leave him home.
Do as much the night before to avoid morning chaos: packed lunches, backpacks and briefcase near door, clothes laid out, and so on.
Use humor.
Take time for self care! You matter too!
Hire a coach! There are people who are ADHD coaches who can help you get all these things going!
In the end, I’ve found that my disability can also be what makes me shine! Knowledge is power, learning about my brain and how it works is the most empowering thing I can do for myself! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!